Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a local general-SFF convention called CONvergence. I understand it’s pretty well known, even outside the Twin Cities, and Who writer Paul Cornell (also a perennial guest at Gally) tweeted some pretty complimentary things, too. I suspect at least a few of my readers have heard of it, if not attended it themselves.

This being another one of those tricky in-town cons for me (complicated by the fact that we are in the throes of packing up to move house), I dashed in and out of the con again, getting only the tiniest taste of the experience. Each of the four days, I attended only one or two panels, including Cornell’s “Advanced Cricket for Americans” masterclass on Friday afternoon. (What’s more American than playing cricket on Independence Day? Errr…..)

What really threw me off, though, was that I am still very much a newb where cons are concerned; this was my first broad-spectrum con (as opposed to a dedicated Who con). Not only was it much larger than any other I’ve attended (about twice the size of Gally), but it was packed to the gills with other fandoms.

Not that other fandoms are bad, by any means! Heck, I consider myself a member of many of them myself. My issue was that there was so much awesome, and I couldn’t possibly understand it all. When I’m at Gally, for instance, there are the occasional mashups (e.g., the Klingon 4th Doctor by Hal) or even the occasional full-on non-Who cosplay (I’ve seen several Star Fleet officers), but for the most part, if you see a costume, you know it has to do with Who. If you don’t catch the reference, it feels fairly natural just to ask, as you know you at least have the base fandom in common.

At a general con, I feel intimidated instead. There are ridiculously awesome costumes (and plenty of cool-but-low-key ones, too) that run the gamut of fandoms. Time after time, I’d see someone in the hall and think, “My god, that’s a glorious cosplay! I’ve no fucking idea what it is.” Already feeling overwhelmed by the large crowds, by flying solo, and by the thought that I still had to get back home in time to pack eight more boxes full of non-essential items, I never stopped one of those cosplayers to ask about their costume and learn about their particular fandom.

Perhaps things would have been different if I’d treated it more like other cons I’ve done and cosplayed something myself, but I primarily attended CONvergence in my speculative fiction-writer persona. And maybe that’s the big lesson I’m taking away from this experience: at a general-SFF con, I can’t afford to narrow myself down to one fandom identity. Just as the con is many things to many people, I can be many things within the con.

What a liberating, terrifying revelation that is.